eastern world

through blinding winds and
endless nights i will,
i shall,
i must
make way
  break through
    patiently weave
to the other north;
to the faraway coast

there, in the cold
i will find the ending of
the longings
  for one beautiful december

for seasons came and went
and yet, in standstill
wishes remained
suspended and hollow
  paused
in words never spoken

one gift to cherish
  one precious chain of moments
at long last,
awaits
inside the world
in her eyes

a thousand
  and then a thousand more
all of those roads i ran

all of those
roads
that led me to her.

December 13, 2010

02:38pm - 03:06pm

spilled onto Note Everything

while sitting in a booth at Rovers; Toronto, ON

for one beautiful December 

R.E.H.

owned by the wait

ask me anything
with your silence...
i wait

one can say
many things
without uttering a single word...

and you remain quiet,
so loudly telling.

now,
lay out a vast desert
that will lie between you and i...

landfill of emptiness,
and sun, and sand, and
a wind
that endlessly howls your name.

patience
is a timeless virtue...
i wait

obviate you into my sentences...

longing for mementos i
would cherish forever...
building indelible timepieces,
landmarks,
on your fair skin.

away...
in the safety of the distance
you will keep me
burrowed down...

a perfect diamond
cut for an uncertain future...

waiting to be unearthed
i am.

October 20, 2010 07:03pm, 

October 21, 2010 09:33am

commisioned for TBNH @MCRD, @NBSD from

«http://bit.ly/obtw01», «http://bit.ly/obtw02»,

«http://bit.ly/obtw03», «http://bit.ly/obtw04»,

«http://bit.ly/obtw05».

loosely re-arrayed @Sunset5 

optimus 

iudex

tempus 

est

faceless crowd of billions

one long war,
we are unwilling soldiers,
or hired participants.

one eternal struggle.
a period that came
before our time.
and it is sure to stay
beyond our very last day
here.

many speak of endings,
many hope
and sigh
and mourn
and learn
to cope.

but rather, a handful,
control the pieces,
control the fields,
control the bullets,
control the minds.

one long chaos, they own.
we are all living off it,
or devolving into it.

one endless nightmare.
a fighting anthem.
a burning flag.
a shifting paradox.
a moving goal.

we are the bleeding canvas,
the eroding soil,
the forgotten,
the unrewarded.

to them
we are but shadows.

to them
we are merely numbers.

October 17, 2010

03:57pm - 04:41pm

commissioned for TBNH @Sunset5 from

«http://bit.ly/fcb01t», «http://bit.ly/fcb02t»,

«http://bit.ly/fcb03t», «http://bit.ly/fcb04t»,

«http://bit.ly/fcb05t», «http://bit.ly/fcb06t»,

«http://bit.ly/fcb07t», «http://bit.ly/fcb08t».

we shall not remain 

unheard of

much longer

september confessions

passed me by,
swiftly, yet again,
September
there
then
it came,
it went

of thunder and wind,
these last days
by the Western shore
spoke
to me
of seasons,
tomorrows

places to see,
more landscapes,
more buildings,
more oceans,
more...
they await
but there ain't no peace
where i am from

hurried these eyes,
buried this skin,
cauterized
these dreams of
a peaceful
and verdant
world

waves to ride,
more mountains,
more cities,
more dunes,
more...
they call
but there ain't no sunshine
where i am headed

14 September - 15 October, 2010

commissioned fully onto TBNH, @nbsd3339

to the last Summer in the Pacific

lost interval

should've disappeared from

   these shallow waters

should've returned

   to the distant skies

   where you came from

should've ended 

   the wasted autumn

   at that very moment

   when the sun had stopped

but you wanted to be seen

   you wanted to be heard

   you wanted to be made

   to feel something

   somewhat close to love

lapses so brief

   kept you here moored

   to the memory of a song

   that never came

doubts and red clouds

   made you at last

   wilt asunder

should've believed that quiet moment

   was your last chance

c. November, 2001

loose leaf page inside

the green cargo note pad
written somewhere by The Cliffs

curated onto TBNH, via Sunset5

end piece to the∞series 

bare wishes

i covet,

fiercely,

aching for endless, igneous

summer nights...

i yearn,

loudly,

for a canvas solely made to be painted

with all my unborn sins... 

hands to wander over me;

to revive the most intense emotions,

let out all fires

trapped inside the kiln

of this bluest soul...

i want devotion;

i want the surrender of your every last caress

to me...

your helplessness...

your blind allegiance... 

your undivided desire...

nothing more. 

i crave;

lusting after you vehemently...

a frenzy so unstoppable,

like a charge of wild horses...

i long

sweetly, yet grotesquely

unafraid to say

you are my ambition...

for ambition is but a wish.

August 2, 2010
from Twitter post 20201024254, via Sunset5
August 8, 2010; August 10, 2010
curated onto TBNH, via Sunset5
inspired from nocturnals, 11:11
writings of a girl named AZ

reality punch

i live for days that/
start like
this one
did/

jolts
to wake up to/
gasping/
in cold sweats/

pasts
that insist/
to remain
very present/

make me feel/
i never
died//

cannonball/
onto me/

make of me/
one prey/

every day/

never stop//

please//

June 19, 2010

09:58am

via ÜberTwitter

direct transcript

Fudu Residence, Bahá'í National Center

Johannesburg, South Africa

translation of a heart, pt iii

part iii;

of eternal fractions that lay 

between me and you

.. i seal all channels to my outside,

tangled world

that keeps me awake

glorify yet another failed attempt to rest..

can sleep, please, permanently

find me?

reach right past this guilt

calling me

one insomniac.. 

i never meant to make all

meaning..

disappear...

.. i seize gravely your every last word,

lingering sound

flooding this room

relive the open wounds of your very last deed..

can i finally give more than halfsteps 

to throw you and them away?

convince whatever medullary to 

boldly raze

those forged memories..

i swear..

i never meant to betray

the unsullied works 

of my own beating heart...

c. January, 2001

the green cargo note pad

onboard USS Bonhomme Richard

Aft Main Machinery Room

underway, Pacific Ocean

curated at TBNH, Sunset5

translation of a heart, pt ii

part ii;

of roads that ceaselessly travel

towards you

.. i cup your shadow in my hands,

the darkened

cloud you have become

the faceless stamp that now is you...

can i slowly

rebuild you?

trace the steps you gave

barefoot

in this room..

i never meant to see them

forever..

walk away...

.. i clutch so firmly your edges,

one empty contour

in this blindness 

recast you in small particles of light..

can i breathe your essence into my

anamnesis of you?

walk on newborn bricks

upon this

stale, arid land...

i never meant to go eyeless

having miles left

in these horizons with no end...

c. January, 2001

the green cargo note pad

onboard USS Bonhomme Richard

Aft Main Machinery Room

underway, Pacific Ocean

curated at TBNH

translation of a heart, pt i

part i;
of endless chases in my sleep
of you

.. i pull you down to me again,
in a wish
made at night

to a chain built from thoughts..

can your patience
untangle me?

decipher my world
for me
once more..

i never meant for it to turn
so vexed..
so complicated...


.. i wrap you around me again,
in a dream
old as time

to an ocean filled with words..

can you keep me
from drifting?

bring reason to all
i can't
understand..

i never meant to lose my mind
to the melting sun
inside your mouth...

c. January, 2001

the green cargo note pad
onboard USS Bonhomme Richard
Aft Main Machinery Room

underway, Pacific Ocean
curated at TBNH

recurrent memento

you remind me of soft breezes and clear waters..
of a warm ray of sunlight
that reaches back to my very beginning,
to that moment when my soul
was born..

of a chance that there could still be
someone
out there
with a grasp so powerful
that can shake me to the very core..
with one look from her eyes..
with one word
from her lips..

of that old collection
of blithe and careless afternoons
that seems faint
and never meant to return...

of a vast, endless field
covered in soft knee-high grass
where i once ran
long
long ago..

you remind me of songs everlasting,
of thoughts that have never left me,
of shining beacons in the night..

of what i've always known
is the most daring proof
why i came
to this world..

May 25, 2010

8:01am - 1:47pm

via Note Everything & TBNH

direct transcript

thinness

dreamt of you again...
you were standing there, at my doorstep...
eyes afire,
blood boiling,
heart racing,
i held you near
and devoured you
kiss by kiss...

i wished of not waking up...
of not letting you escape my grasp...
of avoiding losing you to the morning sun...

tried keeping my eyelids shut...
tried finding you once more under these sheets...

but gone you are...
as gone you were...
as gone you've been...

but just as well...
my dreams of you...
seem here to stay...

night after dreadful night...
dream after painful dream...

as you vanish...

from our intertwined fingers...

into the thinness of air...